What if You’re Not Ready to Have Sex?

I am here to tell you that it’s ok! If you want to have sex, make sure it is age-appropriate and consensual. However, if you are not interested in having sex or feel that you don’t want to have sex right now, that’s totally acceptable.

There’s this nasty thing called society. There’s so much pressure from all sides when it comes to sex. If you have sex early, society might label you one way. If you choose to wait, society might label you another. It’s confusing and honestly, pretty unfair. One moment you're "too much," the next you're "too little." So here’s the truth: Who cares what society says? Your timing, your choice, your values — they’re all valid. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for doing what feels right for you.

You do you! Everyone’s experience is different, but that doesn’t mean it has to be your experience. You might decide to wait to have sex. Or maybe you’ve been sexually active in the past but are now taking a break — for a little while, or maybe for good. Whatever the case, that choice is completely yours. Only you get to decide what feels right for you, and that power belongs to no one else.

It’s better to feel empowered in your decision than try to bend to what your circle of people are telling you or what society says.

I’m here to tell you a secret. A lot of people are not having sex. Just because it seems like everyone is having sex regularly and early on in life, does not mean that is what is actually happening.

Some people wait into their 30s or later to have sex for the first time. Some people go through health problems, trauma, stress, the death of a loved one, job loss, divorce, and the list goes on and stop having sex for days, months, years, decades, or for the rest of their life. The decision is for that person and that person only to make.

There’s nothing wrong or taboo if you are not interested in sex or want to wait to have sex. Putting yourself in a situation you’re uncomfortable with is not a good idea. If you feel that having sex is not right for you or desirable, listen to yourself and honor that.

My hope is that if you ever asked the question, I’m not ready for sex, is that ok? Am I ok?- That you now know that you are great the way you are and that there is no pressure to ever engage in sexual activity.