No Is a Complete Sentence

Have you ever noticed that when people ask you for a favor, they expect you to say yes?

The question is more of a formality than an earnest question waiting for your response. Some people may even try to pressure you or get upset if you say no. However, no is a perfectly fine answer.

One day, I thought to myself, what if I say no? I was tired of being used as free labor by people, and people never showing any appreciation or nitpicking what I did for them. I was always exhausted and was tired of my feelings being hurt. Someone had asked me to do something, and I was nervous, but I said no. They were not happy, but I was happier. I had more energy, my feelings were better, and when I did something, it was because I actually had the time, energy, and wanted to. My boss asked me to work extra hours after a ten-hour shift, and I said no. They were not thrilled, but they asked another person. Problem solved!

I actually had a coworker come over to me, we had never spoken before, as many employees worked there, and he told me he said yes and regretted it. He asked me, “I heard you told them no, how did you do that?” I felt his amazement and fear about how to say the word no, because a year before, he asked that question; the notion that I could say no sounded exciting and scary at the same time. So there we are in the middle of our shift, and I taught him how to say no. A week later, he came to me excited that he told management no to working more hours, and we both celebrated. It was exciting!

I like to empower others, and part of that empowerment starts with the word no. I learned who had me in their life because I offered free labor, and who had me in their life because they actually cared about me. The numbers were smaller, but I was happier, and I didn’t leave an interaction feeling sick. My stress decreased, and my energy was towards something I wanted or needed to do, not for other people's amusement or wants. I felt more supported by myself and like I had my back. My relationship with myself really started at that moment. My life changed, and it has never been the same. Although not all people are the kindest to people who say no, I would never change my power to say no.

If you would like some support on how to say no, feel free to fill out my Contact page, and I can support you on that.